he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
did i just pee glitter
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