She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
