You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
