So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
