I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
