Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
