I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How naked do you want me to be?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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