so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
