There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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