I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Operation Purity has been aborted
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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