i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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