I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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