you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
