Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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