Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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