I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
