Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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