Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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