Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
