walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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