i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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