I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
