me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
