I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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