Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
