Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can you bring me the toilet please
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
