It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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