How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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