at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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