Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
