How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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