he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
