let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
