Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
