My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
