ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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