I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
