Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize