Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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