Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How does one acquire holy water?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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