how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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