we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize