do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize