It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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