I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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