bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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