ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
