can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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