I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My first STD was from a foam party
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
