Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize