yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
