so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
