I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
