I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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