Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
