I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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