You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
