this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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