Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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