I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His nipple licking is glorious
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