Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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