last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
