He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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