I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
