The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
