dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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