Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
