Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
