Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
