I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
