WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
