Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
