I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
