He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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