I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
