New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
