are you still at the devil's house?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
